Remind Me Again, Why Am I Still Sane?

I'm an Artist, an Interior Design major, and the best oddball around (or so I'm told). Joined to keep in touch with family.

26 April, 2006

I'm a Little More Than Useless. . .Just A Little

For those of you familiar with the tune "More Than Useless" by Relient K, you'll understand where I'm coming from right now. . .For those of you that aren't, I'd suggest reading the lyrics before much else. To all of those that know, I was planning to become an Interior Designer. . .Well after some issues and some dense realizations, I'm going back to art, where I really belong. I suppose it was unwise of me to have decided to change my major from something like art, to interior design based on a notion which scared me. However, at this point in my life, I know that I'm not meant to be in that program, so as of next semester I'm going into graphic art.
I can't help but feel like a failure right now. I took on five classes with a simple 20 hour work week, for the second semester in a row, and I'm failing more miserably than the last semester. It's at times like these that if I were someone else, I'd get a floggin stick and beat me severely. While I can say that I've been happier, I've definitely seen much better days. Albeit, I'm not depressed anymore, just. . .Dissatisfied with my self. . .Extremely dissatisfied. While I had originally thought that changing majors, getting an apartment, and changing from full school to full work and part school would make my life easier, I've a very strong suspicion that it only means I'll be even more tired and with less freetime to do my school work.
As this semester comes to a close, I stand in what seems like the darkest academic point in my life, and yet I'm still smiling. I may have spent a year screwing myself over with classes that, I realize now, I cared nothing for. . .And in drafting studio's that, while fun, only left me wanting to draw and draft more like I should have been, but now I know what I have to do. I realize that my GPA is probably non-existent after such a moronic choice of actions, and that I've much to do to pick up those shattered dreams, but I do think that shattered dreams are the best medium in which to reassemble one's true ambitions. I know that you're not going go be pleased mom, I can tell now and I can imagine that this post hasn't instilled any confidence that I can do what we've talked about. . .But I know I can. I don't fear what I use to, and we all know that art is where I should be, so half my problem is solved. . .What's left resides in me and my cobweb filled brain.
I'm planning on talking to Hillard again, I'm gonna need him more than ever now that I know what I have to do, I'm just in the hopes that he can instill some sort of confident in me what with my over confident ways and my ill-mannered disposition with myself right now. For all those who don't know, Mr. Hillard was my art teacher from freshmen year up through senior in highschool. He's the man who thought me alot of who I was, and was more of a father figure to me than anyone I can think of in that period of time. I owe him alot, and I try to go back to see him often, especially when I'm looking for advisement.

I suppose that's all for now friends
Little Reverb

20 April, 2006

Amateur Night at the Little Shop of Horrors

So it appears on Friday that I'll be taking Elle to her old school, William Blount, for some sort of Amateur night for teens. While I'd love to get in on this endeavor I imagine I'll be busy meeting her old friends whilst being shown off. I'm completely entranced by the love this girl dishes out. Something as simple a note left on her window in steam when she's not home yet just makes her gleefully happy. I always thought it was the coolest secret spy thingy that I ever watched on the Television, but hey, it whatever works I suppose. It's quite odd though, in the long run. We've known eachother for. . .a little under three months and I can't say I've ever felt as connected to any of my previous relationships at that point as I do currently. I often wonder if it's normal to be on such a similar thought pattern so early on in a relationship, but then I realize just how awesome it is, not to mention how lucky I really am to have found her through a blog, and I easily dismiss my worries.
Little Shop of Horrors was on the tube last night so I watched it, in utter glee. The dreams that pursued were fairly normal for a horror flick before bed, seeing as I don't really get nightmares from them. I did have somewhat of an epiphany today about my eating habits and what I'm still so thin. While at work last night, I was scarfing a half dozen (literally) pizza sticks complements of the ladies over at the Wally World Bakery (those are the nicest ladies ever) and I was called ot the front. regardless of break, I'ma goodie goodie and I go see what they need. Some elderly lady needs a Portsmith table (dimensions= 6ft x 4 ft x 6in *in the box*) and 4 portsmith chairs (dimensions= 3ft x 2 ft x 4 ft *in box*) put into her SUV that she has double parked on top of the curb. So rather than going and getting a dolly like I should have, I took the chairs (being lightest) and bunked them in the back easy, then hoisted the 95lb table box over my head and carried it out. I think that the fact I never get to finish a meal cuase of mule labor might be the cause of my weight and lack there-of.
much love,

19 April, 2006

Rainy Days in a Sleepless Haze

So I'm sure everyone has been in the little haze between sleep and just laying in bed on a rainy day, am I right? Well it certainly makes my day as of late. I woke up to it this morning as a matter of fact, and it was a definite relaxer. Rain makes me so happy anymore, it's true irony now, seeing as it use to bring nothing be boring days. Reason being, the first five dates I went on with Elle, best girlfriend ever by the way, were all in the rain. It's true joy to find someone who doesn't care if you go out in play in the rain, it's the ultimate joy if you turn around and she's hoping out of the car to join you. But as I lay there in that Daze between consciousness and sound sleep, the little pitter patter of rain on the window only brings memories of her into a more vivid state on the backs of my eyelids. A fresh start is so wonderful isn't it?
I'm excited already since today is the final day of a particularly fun project in my Interior's Studio class. We were to take the second story of a 1960's bungalow and accomodate it for a 10 year old girl and her 9 year old brother, as well as a full bath for them and a play area. the second story alone was nearly 20sq. ft. X 53 sq.ft. The whole time I've been doing this I was thinking "this is gonna be the size of the entire apartment I could be in before long. . . lucky kids" In any case, I think I've rattled enough today, I'm gonna head off to class before my computer sucks me in again.
much love,

18 April, 2006

Diggin the city lights

So I'm new the to whole bloggin' thing on this particular site. I really felt compelled today to stay in touch more with my family, especially the extended members. Found out my aunt and some other family have joined up to keep in touch with my Mum. Who wants to be left out of the loop, right? What more is there to say? I can't say I'm having much luck in school right now, simply becuase I'm not only looking at summer only a week or so away, but I'm also jsut not the greatest student. I've started planning things out for next semester, in the hopes of rectifying some of my past mistakes. I think that's about it for now, so I'll keep in touch.
--much love,